Remembering people's names, particularly in business, is unquestionably a tremendous asset.  Yet how many of us struggle to recall someone's name five seconds after we've met them, let alone weeks later when we run into them again?

Quite a few of us, if Macquarie Dictionary is anything to go by.  It lists 'What's-his-name', 'Whatsit', 'Whatchamecallit' and 'Thingummyjig' as words with definitions. 

From the age of 19 when I started in adult learning, each week I committed many new names to memory.  Some weeks I would start six new classes, with 30 attendees in each.  At the beginning of each session I would perform a memory demonstration, recalling each person's name.

You might think I am simply gifted with capacity to remember.  But this is not the case.  Name recall is a skill anyone can acquire if they have desire to do so. 

As someone who applies practical techniques for good memory, I am surprised and a bit disheartened when I hear people competing in their claims to having the worst memory.  They might say, 'I have a terrible memory' or even amusingly, 'You think you have a lousy memory? My memory's so bad, my wife has to introduce herself to me at breakfast.'

This kind of negative self-talk convinces the subconscious and becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you're one of many people who believe you have trouble remembering people's names, take heart.  There is a way to remedy this social handicap and the first step involves belief.

Here are six steps to help you remember names at your next business or social gathering when you are introduced to a small group:

1. Believe it's possible

Act as if you have a good memory.  The feeling of certainty breeds confidence and subsequent actions to support that belief.  When you feel confident in your memory, it changes your behaviour.  Instead of not even trying to remember, instead you'll proactively focus to capture that information for later retrieval.

2. Change your self-talk

How often do people interrupt an introduction with a light-hearted, 'Oh, I'll never remember everyone's name.'  Sound familiar?

Whenever you have a retrieval issue, instead of saying 'I can't remember' replace it with 'It will come to me later'. 

Tell yourself frequently, 'I have a good memory'.  After a short time of reprogramming your sub-conscious, you'll be surprised and delighted to find information and people's names at your fingertips!

3. Focus

Most people are passive (or lazy) at the moment of introduction and allow new names to fall away. You have to capture information before you can retrieve it  from memory. 

Make a conscious decision to remember, then next time the opportunity arises, focus, listen actively and be confident of your recall.  Short-term or working memory improves significantly with practice. 

4. Rehearse and reinforce

When introductions are complete, don't be the first person to talk.  Stand back and mentally review who you've met and their names.  By testing your memory within 30 seconds, you indelibly etch their names in your consciousness.  
It has to do with creating brain cell connections, which improves the chance of subsequent recall.

Another possibility is to visualise the name on their forehead.  (This works well for the 35% of the population who have a predominantly visual learning style.)  Take it further: visualise the letters of their name in a vivid colour.

You could try the association method, where you create a mental association to help remember the name: e.g. for Cameron, 'camera on': visualise him holding a camera with red light flashing for 'on'. (This method is more appropriate when you have only one or two names to recall.)

Ever heard the proverb, 'once written, twice remembered'?  Writing names down helps to encode them. If you attend a meeting where pen and paper is to hand, compile a seating plan.  Test your memory, then relearn any you have forgotten.  You'll be amazed how quickly you can recall up to 20 names or more.

5. Repeat name in conversation 

Use people's names straight away.  You might say, 'Hi, John, nice to meet you.'  or 'Tell me John, who do you know at this party / meeting?'  You could remark on their appearance, 'John, where did you get that great jacket?'

6. Be the host

When the next new person joins your group, dazzle them by introducing this new person to others in the group.  You may find your peers commenting, 'You have a phenomenal memory,' (which becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy).

Brain muscle is like any other muscle.  It grows stronger with exercise and eventually works automatically. 

I'll give you an example from my life.  Most of the time I use the techniques just described.  But I'm only human.  Occasionally I forget, or the introduction happens too quickly, or I'm distracted. 

At a party some time back I was introduced to a woman.  We didn't have a conversation.  I didn't use her name and didn't even decide to remember.

One week later swimming at my local beach, a wet head bobbed up beside me.  I couldn't see the full person and she appeared quite different with wet hair.  Yet from somewhere in my well-oiled memory, out popped her name.  'Hello, Val,' I said, surprising even myself.  Not unexpectedly, she hardly remembered me.

I encourage you to treat experiences in life requiring good memory as a memory 'work out'.  You'll be amazed at how effective it becomes.

Then, at those serendipitous moments when you unexpectedly bump into people you previously met, you'll make an impact and gain rapport by remembering their name.

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For Memory Improvement training for your group of 10-16 staff in your organisation's training room, visit our Memory Improvement training web page
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